1
00:00:02,589 --> 00:00:04,709
Oh, I hope Tad likes salmon.

2
00:00:05,113 --> 00:00:06,556
It's a bit of a risk serving fish

3
00:00:06,557 --> 00:00:08,168
to a first-time diner at Dunphy's.

4
00:00:08,169 --> 00:00:10,211
Maybe I should marinate
a steak for backup.

5
00:00:10,212 --> 00:00:12,143
I think someone has a man crush.

6
00:00:12,144 --> 00:00:14,707
First of all, I would never date
a potential client.

7
00:00:14,708 --> 00:00:15,834
That's "first of all"?

8
00:00:15,835 --> 00:00:17,395
Secondly, I really need this to go well

9
00:00:17,396 --> 00:00:19,706
so he makes me his realtor.
This guy's flipping properties

10
00:00:19,707 --> 00:00:21,780
like they're extras in a kung fu movie.

11
00:00:21,781 --> 00:00:23,722
So you're just kissing up
to this guy for his money?

12
00:00:23,723 --> 00:00:25,160
Not just. I really like him.

13
00:00:25,161 --> 00:00:26,999
He travels the world
doing charity work,

14
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,227
rock climbs, flies planes...

15
00:00:29,228 --> 00:00:31,146
How does he have time
to do all that?

16
00:00:31,147 --> 00:00:33,083
Got divorced, and
his whole life opened up.

17
00:00:33,084 --> 00:00:34,419
Guy's living the dream.

18
00:00:36,356 --> 00:00:37,429
His dream.

19
00:00:37,759 --> 00:00:40,375
Not my dream.
I'm living my dream.

20
00:00:40,657 --> 00:00:41,485
You're my dream.

21
00:00:41,486 --> 00:00:42,588
You can stop.

22
00:00:43,173 --> 00:00:44,748
I so don't want to do this.

23
00:00:45,188 --> 00:00:46,889
Recently, Haley got a little creative

24
00:00:46,890 --> 00:00:48,194
on one of her college applications

25
00:00:48,195 --> 00:00:51,133
and listed herself as a "big sister."

26
00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:53,276
Technically, I am a big sister.

27
00:00:53,277 --> 00:00:54,903
She capitalized the "b" and the "s."

28
00:00:54,904 --> 00:00:57,137
Which makes sense, 'cause it was.

29
00:00:57,700 --> 00:00:58,911
So Claire and I suggested--

30
00:00:58,912 --> 00:01:00,100
Forced.

31
00:01:00,101 --> 00:01:03,174
That she volunteer
for the organization.

32
00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:04,840
We couldn't be prouder.

33
00:01:05,676 --> 00:01:06,775
We could.

34
00:01:06,776 --> 00:01:07,966
Little bit.

35
00:01:08,459 --> 00:01:09,365
Hey, dad?

36
00:01:09,366 --> 00:01:11,490
Did you accidentally leave
this hilarious book

37
00:01:11,491 --> 00:01:13,040
of lawyer jokes in the guest room?

38
00:01:13,041 --> 00:01:14,923
I'll tell you if you can answer
the following question--

39
00:01:14,924 --> 00:01:16,026
What's the difference between

40
00:01:16,027 --> 00:01:19,021
- a catfish and a lawyer?
- I don't know. What?

41
00:01:19,022 --> 00:01:21,199
Well, one's a bottom-feeding
mud-dweller.

42
00:01:21,765 --> 00:01:22,661
The other's a fish.

43
00:01:22,662 --> 00:01:24,021
Zing!

44
00:01:24,022 --> 00:01:24,977
Honk!

45
00:01:24,978 --> 00:01:27,239
Okay, everyone, dinner is served!

46
00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:27,904
Let's get it!

47
00:01:27,905 --> 00:01:29,788
Our house is being fumigated,
so Jay and Gloria

48
00:01:29,789 --> 00:01:31,872
invited us to stay here
for a few days.

49
00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:34,877
I am very excited to have
72 hours with this one.

50
00:01:34,878 --> 00:01:36,540
We don't get to spend
much time together,

51
00:01:36,541 --> 00:01:39,185
so I know that
we're gonna be like, um...

52
00:01:40,589 --> 00:01:41,687
Fred and Ginger?

53
00:01:41,887 --> 00:01:42,894
Who?

54
00:01:44,740 --> 00:01:45,871
Movie night!

55
00:01:49,388 --> 00:01:51,722
It's nosier than usual around here.

56
00:01:53,286 --> 00:01:54,423
Oh, gosh!

57
00:01:55,264 --> 00:01:58,764
Sync by YYeTs, corrected by susanaLC
www.addic7ed.com

58
00:02:07,773 --> 00:02:09,517
Tad, this wine is fantastic.

59
00:02:09,518 --> 00:02:10,767
Spend a week in Mendoza,

60
00:02:10,768 --> 00:02:13,288
and you'll find a dozen
or so malbec producers

61
00:02:13,289 --> 00:02:15,938
that'll give most Bordeaux a
real run for their money.

62
00:02:16,945 --> 00:02:17,691
- Mm.
- I'm sorry.

63
00:02:17,692 --> 00:02:18,924
This should come with a warning--

64
00:02:18,925 --> 00:02:20,543
"may cause pretentiousness."

65
00:02:21,070 --> 00:02:24,204
You should come with a warning--
"may be fascinating."

66
00:02:24,205 --> 00:02:25,557
- Oh! Excuse me.
- Ohoh, gosh!

67
00:02:25,558 --> 00:02:26,753
- Oh. Ow.
- Oh, that's, like, the ninth time

68
00:02:26,754 --> 00:02:27,804
this screw has popped out.

69
00:02:27,805 --> 00:02:29,815
Oh, you know what?
I need the angled screwdriver.

70
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:31,012
- I left it at the office.
- Mm.

71
00:02:31,013 --> 00:02:34,627
I, um, I keep it there
because of--of all my signs.

72
00:02:34,870 --> 00:02:36,845
I'll, uh, put up a "for sale" sign,

73
00:02:37,213 --> 00:02:38,170
and next day, of course,

74
00:02:38,171 --> 00:02:39,985
- I gotta put up the "sold" banner.
- Yeah.

75
00:02:39,986 --> 00:02:41,775
Then the next day,
same deal--"for sale

76
00:02:41,776 --> 00:02:42,643
- "sold."
- Mm-hmm.

77
00:02:42,754 --> 00:02:44,715
"For sale." "Sold." "For sale." "Sold."

78
00:02:44,716 --> 00:02:45,560
You're a great-- great salesman.

79
00:02:45,561 --> 00:02:46,920
- I'm getting that.
- "For sale." "Sold."

80
00:02:46,921 --> 00:02:49,792
Right. Listen, I-I-I gotta
go relieve the babysitter.

81
00:02:49,793 --> 00:02:52,306
My ex-wife took 50% of my stuff

82
00:02:52,307 --> 00:02:54,595
and left me 100% of my kids.

83
00:02:55,153 --> 00:02:56,931
- They're great.
- Hey, listen, um,

84
00:02:56,982 --> 00:02:58,094
- thank you so much for coming.
- Yeah, yeah.

85
00:02:58,095 --> 00:03:00,382
Oh, no, thank you, Phil, so much

86
00:03:00,383 --> 00:03:02,639
for the salmon and the steak

87
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,244
- and the chicken and the shrimp.
- Oh...

88
00:03:04,245 --> 00:03:05,935
I mean, it was all just delicious.

89
00:03:05,936 --> 00:03:07,787
- Oh, great.
- This guy is very lucky to have you.

90
00:03:09,517 --> 00:03:10,860
Okay. Thanks.

91
00:03:10,861 --> 00:03:12,007
Yeah.

92
00:03:13,628 --> 00:03:14,603
All right.

93
00:03:15,269 --> 00:03:16,487
- Let me grab that.
- Yeah.

94
00:03:16,612 --> 00:03:17,513
Yeah. Thanks so much. Bye-bye.

95
00:03:17,514 --> 00:03:18,598
Bye-bye.

96
00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:22,763
Did you see that?

97
00:03:22,764 --> 00:03:24,488
A handshake that
almost became a hug?

98
00:03:24,489 --> 00:03:27,169
Yeah, I saw it. I lived it.
I think I'm in.

99
00:03:27,170 --> 00:03:29,044
No, honey.
He kissed me on the lips.

100
00:03:29,045 --> 00:03:31,456
- Another good sign!
- It's not a good sign.

101
00:03:31,457 --> 00:03:33,181
Sweetie, you don't think
that's weird?

102
00:03:33,182 --> 00:03:34,765
Well, the guy's a world traveler.

103
00:03:34,766 --> 00:03:36,147
He has a time share
in Costa Rica.

104
00:03:36,148 --> 00:03:37,521
That's probably
how they do it there.

105
00:03:37,522 --> 00:03:40,288
I don't know, honey.
It felt like he lingered.

106
00:03:40,289 --> 00:03:41,807
It's a progressive culture.

107
00:03:42,275 --> 00:03:43,947
Most of them travel by zip line.

108
00:03:46,693 --> 00:03:48,163
Biscuits and gravy?

109
00:03:48,164 --> 00:03:50,421
Yep, my grandma Bitsy's
secret recipe,

110
00:03:50,422 --> 00:03:53,202
given to her by
her housekeeper Delilah,

111
00:03:53,203 --> 00:03:54,602
who raised her
and was her best friend--

112
00:03:54,603 --> 00:03:56,577
kind of like "The Help,"
except Delilah was white,

113
00:03:56,578 --> 00:03:58,967
and was actually herself
quite the racist.

114
00:03:59,879 --> 00:04:01,005
Eat up.

115
00:04:01,006 --> 00:04:02,581
Good morning!

116
00:04:02,582 --> 00:04:03,981
- Hi, mom.
- Hi, sweetheart.

117
00:04:03,982 --> 00:04:06,098
Ah, where did those come from?

118
00:04:06,099 --> 00:04:07,847
Yeah, I thought amaryllis
were out of season.

119
00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:09,630
Oh, I got a guy.
You know, I just thought

120
00:04:09,631 --> 00:04:11,059
they'd brighten up
the house a little bit.

121
00:04:11,060 --> 00:04:13,496
Oh, that was so thoughtful of you.

122
00:04:13,938 --> 00:04:16,721
I didn't realize that my
house needed brightening up.

123
00:04:16,910 --> 00:04:18,228
There she is!

124
00:04:18,229 --> 00:04:19,183
Gloria! Gloria!

125
00:04:19,184 --> 00:04:21,886
Ay! Let me fix your hair!

126
00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:23,808
Oh. Well, isn't that sweet?

127
00:04:25,150 --> 00:04:27,349
I didn't realize her hair was broken.

128
00:04:28,226 --> 00:04:29,842
Ah! That smells delicious,

129
00:04:29,843 --> 00:04:31,932
but nothing for me.
I've got an early work lunch.

130
00:04:31,933 --> 00:04:33,735
Really? I didn't hear an ambulance.

131
00:04:33,736 --> 00:04:37,737
Yeah, it's funny because it's
what I've dedicated my life to.

132
00:04:37,738 --> 00:04:39,302
Oh, is this that meeting
with the deejay

133
00:04:39,303 --> 00:04:40,907
- with the funny name?
- Booker Bell.

134
00:04:40,908 --> 00:04:42,278
- Booker Bell.
- Booker Bell?

135
00:04:42,279 --> 00:04:43,389
Everybody now!

136
00:04:43,420 --> 00:04:45,521
Booker Bell was only
the greatest deejay

137
00:04:45,522 --> 00:04:47,147
in the history of Drive Time Radio.

138
00:04:47,148 --> 00:04:49,317
Yeah, well, now he has some
wetlands that developers want,

139
00:04:49,318 --> 00:04:51,324
and we're trying to get him
to donate for preservation.

140
00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:52,481
When I was on the road selling,

141
00:04:52,482 --> 00:04:53,834
I used to listen to
Booker all the time.

142
00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:55,936
He practically invented
the prank phone call.

143
00:04:55,937 --> 00:04:58,285
Okay. Wish me luck.

144
00:04:58,286 --> 00:04:59,218
Good luck, sweetie!

145
00:04:59,219 --> 00:05:00,717
Booker would play a prank,

146
00:05:00,718 --> 00:05:02,393
the sucker would be
twisting in the wind,

147
00:05:02,394 --> 00:05:04,014
and just when you couldn't
stand it anymore,

148
00:05:04,015 --> 00:05:06,741
he'd say, "guess who just
got their bell rung!"

149
00:05:06,963 --> 00:05:08,119
God, I'd love to meet him.

150
00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:09,774
Oh, they're just
going down to Rae's.

151
00:05:09,775 --> 00:05:10,532
You should pop down.

152
00:05:10,533 --> 00:05:12,563
- I'm sure he'd love to meet a fan.
- I don't know.

153
00:05:12,564 --> 00:05:14,798
I met Boz Scaggs once,
got all tongue-tied.

154
00:05:14,799 --> 00:05:15,817
Oh, you'll be fine.

155
00:05:15,818 --> 00:05:17,968
Oh! Oh, Lily, it's time
for school, sweetie.

156
00:05:17,969 --> 00:05:19,388
Oh, I can take her.

157
00:05:19,389 --> 00:05:20,980
Yay! Yay!

158
00:05:21,138 --> 00:05:22,616
Oh. That'd be great.

159
00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:25,744
Yeah, it'd give me some more
time to clean the kitchen.

160
00:05:25,745 --> 00:05:27,896
Maybe do a little dusting.

161
00:05:28,457 --> 00:05:30,166
- Delicious, Cam.
- Mm-hmm.

162
00:05:33,603 --> 00:05:37,204
Annie was amazing, so
funny and cute and sweet.

163
00:05:37,205 --> 00:05:39,834
- Yeah, you've said.
- She made this for me last night.

164
00:05:40,164 --> 00:05:43,148
Look how she signs her name
with that big loopy "a."

165
00:05:43,526 --> 00:05:45,295
I'm totally going to frame this.

166
00:05:45,934 --> 00:05:48,071
I made this for Haley four years ago.

167
00:05:50,011 --> 00:05:51,556
You think this got framed?

168
00:05:51,557 --> 00:05:53,383
She tossed it in the garbage...

169
00:05:54,339 --> 00:05:56,075
Right after she wrote
"Mrs. Haley Jonas Brothers"

170
00:05:56,076 --> 00:05:57,900
on it, like, 30 times.

171
00:05:59,270 --> 00:06:01,589
The tax write-off alone
makes financial sense.

172
00:06:01,590 --> 00:06:03,346
You know, even if you take
the environment out of it.

173
00:06:03,347 --> 00:06:04,903
Well, don't take
the environment out of it.

174
00:06:04,904 --> 00:06:06,596
Without the wetlands,
there's no ducks,

175
00:06:06,815 --> 00:06:08,424
and without the ducks, there's
nothing for me to shoot at.

176
00:06:08,425 --> 00:06:10,439
Okay. Well, we're shooting
from two different angles,

177
00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:13,575
but, uh, hopefully we'll
end up at the same place.

178
00:06:13,632 --> 00:06:15,086
- Mitch.
- Dad?

179
00:06:15,087 --> 00:06:17,810
I just had to stop down
and meet this guy.

180
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,617
Booker Bell, I'm Boz Scaggs--

181
00:06:19,618 --> 00:06:22,753
No! I mean Jay Pritchett. Damn it.

182
00:06:22,754 --> 00:06:24,638
- It's nice to meet you.
- This is such an honor.

183
00:06:24,639 --> 00:06:27,420
You are hands down my favorite
radio personality of all time.

184
00:06:27,421 --> 00:06:28,342
That's kind of you to say.

185
00:06:28,343 --> 00:06:29,810
Okay. Well, thanks for
stopping by, dad.

186
00:06:29,811 --> 00:06:31,955
- You know, I gotta tell you one thing.
- I'll see you back at the house.

187
00:06:32,114 --> 00:06:34,856
One time when I was driving
from Youngstown to Sugar Creek,

188
00:06:34,857 --> 00:06:37,173
you called this guy at
a Kitty Litter Company

189
00:06:37,174 --> 00:06:39,362
and you asked him to bring
over 900 pounds of litter,

190
00:06:39,541 --> 00:06:42,719
and in the background, you hear
all these lions roaring, and...

191
00:06:47,099 --> 00:06:49,367
I-I-I laughed so hard,
I almost had an accident.

192
00:06:49,656 --> 00:06:50,727
The car or you?

193
00:06:51,687 --> 00:06:52,937
Funny as ever!

194
00:06:53,475 --> 00:06:56,027
- Anyway... - Hey, are you still
in touch with the old gang?

195
00:06:56,028 --> 00:06:58,131
Grandma Groovy? Spaceman Clyde?

196
00:06:58,142 --> 00:07:00,461
- Are you kidding? I am the old gang.
- No way.

197
00:07:00,494 --> 00:07:03,082
I may be old, but I still
know how to boggie.

198
00:07:03,083 --> 00:07:04,896
My God, it's like she's here!

199
00:07:04,897 --> 00:07:06,051
She is here!

200
00:07:06,202 --> 00:07:07,693
How are you still not getting this?

201
00:07:07,694 --> 00:07:08,945
That's her.

202
00:07:09,016 --> 00:07:10,141
Excuse me for a sec.

203
00:07:12,222 --> 00:07:13,252
What are you doing?

204
00:07:13,253 --> 00:07:15,493
What? I'm a fan.
I came down to say hi.

205
00:07:15,506 --> 00:07:16,752
This is a business meeting.

206
00:07:16,753 --> 00:07:19,274
Do you have any idea how
inappropiate this is?

207
00:07:19,275 --> 00:07:20,697
No. No, of course you don't,

208
00:07:20,698 --> 00:07:22,433
because as far as you're
concerned, all a lawyer does

209
00:07:22,434 --> 00:07:24,506
is walk into a bar with
a rabbi and polar bear.

210
00:07:26,421 --> 00:07:27,891
Grizzly, 'cause otherwise,
with the bartender--

211
00:07:27,892 --> 00:07:29,943
Dad! I'm working!

212
00:07:29,944 --> 00:07:31,135
You're embarrasing both of us!

213
00:07:31,136 --> 00:07:32,595
Please, you gotta go!

214
00:07:32,859 --> 00:07:34,094
Okay, I didn't realize that.

215
00:07:34,095 --> 00:07:35,771
Yeah. Yeah. You didn't.

216
00:07:35,810 --> 00:07:36,879
I'm sorry, go!

217
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:41,380
Hey. Where's my stalker?

218
00:07:41,381 --> 00:07:43,605
Oh, he's gone. I've got rid of him.

219
00:07:43,606 --> 00:07:45,272
I'm sorry that
he attacked you like that.

220
00:07:45,273 --> 00:07:46,794
Attacked?

221
00:07:46,795 --> 00:07:48,440
No, I don't mind a little smoke
of my bloomers.

222
00:07:48,441 --> 00:07:50,921
Well, just I thought since
this was a business meeting,

223
00:07:50,922 --> 00:07:51,734
- we should--
- And you thought

224
00:07:51,735 --> 00:07:53,523
that maybe hanging with
somebody would make me feel good

225
00:07:53,524 --> 00:07:54,478
with racket?

226
00:07:55,001 --> 00:07:57,400
There's been a lot of tension
between me and my dad.

227
00:07:57,401 --> 00:07:59,099
I'm actually staying at his house...

228
00:07:59,144 --> 00:08:01,710
Oh, so you chased away a man
who's opening his home to you.

229
00:08:02,294 --> 00:08:04,307
I get the sense that I'm losing you.

230
00:08:04,409 --> 00:08:06,819
Could I talk to Grandma Groovy?

231
00:08:07,202 --> 00:08:08,371
Honey, I'm home.

232
00:08:08,372 --> 00:08:10,467
Hell, I didn't expect you
so early dear..

233
00:08:10,468 --> 00:08:12,407
What? You?

234
00:08:12,898 --> 00:08:15,060
Yeah, look who came by
to fix the table.

235
00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:16,288
Well, I had some time to kill,

236
00:08:16,289 --> 00:08:18,579
so I thought I'd drop by with
that tool your wife needed.

237
00:08:18,580 --> 00:08:20,391
Wow. What a guy. Yeah.

238
00:08:20,946 --> 00:08:22,212
Mm-hmm. He also brought some wine.

239
00:08:22,213 --> 00:08:23,659
Well, you said you liked it last night,

240
00:08:23,660 --> 00:08:25,859
so I had a couple extra
bottles lying around.

241
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,989
Boy, do you know the way
to this gal's heart.

242
00:08:28,140 --> 00:08:28,908
Okay.

243
00:08:28,909 --> 00:08:30,662
I didn't just come here
to fix your table

244
00:08:30,663 --> 00:08:31,758
and get your wife drunk.

245
00:08:31,759 --> 00:08:34,153
I actually decided
to give you that listing

246
00:08:34,154 --> 00:08:35,219
on the sycamore property.

247
00:08:35,220 --> 00:08:37,272
Really? That's great.

248
00:08:37,273 --> 00:08:39,626
Yeah. Why don't you, uh, come
over for dinner tonight?

249
00:08:39,627 --> 00:08:42,311
And, uh, we'll work out all the details.
One entree.

250
00:08:42,312 --> 00:08:43,637
Okay. Claire, you should come, too.

251
00:08:43,638 --> 00:08:45,082
Oh, no, no. No, no, if it's business--

252
00:08:45,083 --> 00:08:46,434
- I insist.
- He insists.

253
00:08:46,435 --> 00:08:47,337
- We'll be there. We're coming.
- Okay.

254
00:08:47,338 --> 00:08:48,851
Yeah, shall we say, uh, 7:00?

255
00:08:48,852 --> 00:08:50,260
- 7:00 sounds great.
- Okay.

256
00:08:50,261 --> 00:08:51,267
All right.

257
00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:53,712
- I'll let myself out.
- Okay.

258
00:08:58,337 --> 00:08:59,255
Wow.

259
00:08:59,256 --> 00:09:00,918
"Wow" is right.

260
00:09:00,991 --> 00:09:02,582
- Mm-hmm.
- I just got sycamore--

261
00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:05,495
a house that sells itself and
gives me the commission.

262
00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:07,662
How does that not bother you?

263
00:09:07,818 --> 00:09:09,095
Claire, it's an expression.

264
00:09:09,096 --> 00:09:11,529
There's work.
Inspections, appraisals--

265
00:09:11,530 --> 00:09:12,356
He brought me wine,

266
00:09:12,357 --> 00:09:14,887
he took his shirt off
when you weren't here!

267
00:09:14,944 --> 00:09:16,090
Um, he brought us wine,

268
00:09:16,091 --> 00:09:17,772
and it doesn't look super
vacuumed down there.

269
00:09:17,773 --> 00:09:19,156
I'm surprised
he kept his pants on.

270
00:09:19,157 --> 00:09:20,705
Okay. Okay, I can see what's going on.

271
00:09:20,706 --> 00:09:23,007
You--you're just so focused
on getting his business,

272
00:09:23,008 --> 00:09:24,951
that you don't see what's
going on in front of you.

273
00:09:24,952 --> 00:09:27,453
Okay. Now I do see
what's going on.

274
00:09:27,454 --> 00:09:29,149
- What?
- Come here, pretty girl.

275
00:09:29,150 --> 00:09:32,075
- What? Mm? - You are, you know.
You don't hear it enough.

276
00:09:32,601 --> 00:09:34,997
The other night,
when you put on makeup,

277
00:09:35,378 --> 00:09:37,471
I was like, "there she is."

278
00:09:37,472 --> 00:09:38,592
Oh, my God.

279
00:09:38,766 --> 00:09:41,483
You think I'm making this up as
some part of a-an ego boost?

280
00:09:41,484 --> 00:09:44,028
Do you realize
how insulting that is?

281
00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:47,298
What are you doing?

282
00:09:47,386 --> 00:09:49,532
Helping my little sister
with her homework.

283
00:09:49,737 --> 00:09:51,693
That seems... mean.

284
00:09:51,876 --> 00:09:53,334
Annie, this is Alex.

285
00:09:53,335 --> 00:09:55,865
That other sister
I was telling you about.

286
00:09:56,111 --> 00:09:58,086
Hi. So nice to meet you.

287
00:09:59,374 --> 00:10:00,681
Um, if you're going to study there,

288
00:10:00,682 --> 00:10:02,693
you might need to correct
numbers 7 through 10.

289
00:10:02,901 --> 00:10:05,702
This bed has higher
standards than that bed.

290
00:10:06,137 --> 00:10:08,172
I'm going to get
some more lemonade.

291
00:10:10,674 --> 00:10:13,584
I think your sister's mad
at our sister.

292
00:10:19,197 --> 00:10:20,649
We're back!

293
00:10:20,717 --> 00:10:22,518
Oh, well, there you are.
I guess "lunch then home"

294
00:10:22,586 --> 00:10:23,987
means different things
to different people.

295
00:10:24,054 --> 00:10:26,188
We had a girls' day.
Lily, Lily, come!

296
00:10:26,256 --> 00:10:28,409
Show your papa what we bought!

297
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,392
Matchy jackets!

298
00:10:30,459 --> 00:10:31,896
It's like she's the baby leopard,

299
00:10:32,128 --> 00:10:33,228
and I'm the mama.

300
00:10:33,296 --> 00:10:34,529
Or they just happened
to have two jackets,

301
00:10:34,597 --> 00:10:35,830
one large, one small.

302
00:10:37,433 --> 00:10:38,733
What happened here?
Where is my tea?

303
00:10:38,801 --> 00:10:40,235
Oh, it's in this drawer over here.

304
00:10:40,303 --> 00:10:42,937
As a thank-you, I took some
time to rearrange your kitchen

305
00:10:43,005 --> 00:10:44,838
so it makes sense.

306
00:10:45,458 --> 00:10:46,440
To who?

307
00:10:46,508 --> 00:10:48,376
To everyone.
There's a flow now. Watch--

308
00:10:48,443 --> 00:10:51,512
Tea. Mug. Kettle. You're welcome.

309
00:10:51,579 --> 00:10:52,867
I didn't thank you.

310
00:10:54,043 --> 00:10:54,989
You don't have to.

311
00:10:54,990 --> 00:10:56,517
I won't.

312
00:11:07,546 --> 00:11:09,980
Cam, our shared bathroom
is not the place

313
00:11:10,048 --> 00:11:11,882
to work out
whatever's going on here.

314
00:11:11,950 --> 00:11:13,383
I'm a child of divorce.

315
00:11:13,452 --> 00:11:15,920
Conflict resolution is
something of a specialty.

316
00:11:15,987 --> 00:11:17,822
The key is, tell a personal story

317
00:11:17,889 --> 00:11:19,466
that applies to their situation,

318
00:11:19,467 --> 00:11:21,257
even if you have to make one up.

319
00:11:21,325 --> 00:11:23,225
That way, they really hear
what they need to hear.

320
00:11:25,028 --> 00:11:26,529
I'm sorry. You're right.

321
00:11:26,829 --> 00:11:29,662
No. I'm sorry I snapped.

322
00:11:29,663 --> 00:11:31,033
I'm just going through some stuff

323
00:11:31,101 --> 00:11:32,635
with this girl I like, Danielle.

324
00:11:33,147 --> 00:11:35,971
She came over the other day,
and Stella was all over her,

325
00:11:36,038 --> 00:11:38,234
and--and I got jealous.
Which is crazy, right?

326
00:11:38,235 --> 00:11:41,457
I mean, Stella was only playing
with her because she was new.

327
00:11:41,978 --> 00:11:44,363
Manny, sounds like Danielle was trying

328
00:11:44,364 --> 00:11:45,614
to get between you and your puppy,

329
00:11:45,682 --> 00:11:47,048
and that ain't cool.

330
00:11:47,116 --> 00:11:49,952
She seems immature,
and you can do better.

331
00:11:50,521 --> 00:11:51,418
I'm sorry to be blunt,

332
00:11:51,487 --> 00:11:53,684
but I'm going through
something myself right now.

333
00:11:54,790 --> 00:11:56,123
So, chin up. Okay.

334
00:11:56,191 --> 00:11:57,758
It may not work every time,

335
00:11:57,826 --> 00:11:59,794
but you only need one fish to bite.

336
00:12:00,035 --> 00:12:01,501
Who is this Danielle?

337
00:12:01,569 --> 00:12:03,837
She's my study partner
in my history class,

338
00:12:03,905 --> 00:12:04,587
and we share a notebook.

339
00:12:04,588 --> 00:12:06,041
But her notes were really confusing,

340
00:12:06,042 --> 00:12:07,310
so I put them in order.

341
00:12:07,326 --> 00:12:09,714
Instead of thanking me for
making our lives easier,

342
00:12:09,715 --> 00:12:12,149
she got all mad because she
thought I was judging her.

343
00:12:13,770 --> 00:12:15,812
This girl is very bad news, Manny.

344
00:12:16,176 --> 00:12:18,508
You stay away from her.

345
00:12:22,914 --> 00:12:23,656
- Hey.
- Hi.

346
00:12:23,657 --> 00:12:24,736
We're Phil and Claire.

347
00:12:24,737 --> 00:12:26,595
Hey, I'm Tony. Come on in.
I'll go get my dad.

348
00:12:26,596 --> 00:12:28,129
- Okay.
- Great, thanks.

349
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,833
- Wow. - I don't like the way
that kid was looking at you.

350
00:12:30,901 --> 00:12:32,168
We are not friends right now.

351
00:12:32,235 --> 00:12:34,236
I am only here to help
pump up the college fund.

352
00:12:34,304 --> 00:12:36,238
Claire, if Tad even makes
a move towards you,

353
00:12:36,306 --> 00:12:37,774
his ass is... grass.

354
00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:40,108
Really? I thought
that was just my ego.

355
00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:41,342
So far, yeah, but just know,

356
00:12:41,410 --> 00:12:42,878
I'm ready to grass his ass.

357
00:12:42,946 --> 00:12:43,979
Hey, hey, hey, guys.

358
00:12:44,047 --> 00:12:45,180
- Hey!
- How are you!

359
00:12:45,247 --> 00:12:46,915
- Good.
- Good to see you.

360
00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:49,284
- Yeah.
- Hi. That's good.

361
00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:51,119
Well, I love the place.
Did you remodel this?

362
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,520
Uh, actually, my ex-wife.

363
00:12:52,589 --> 00:12:54,922
She had a, uh, passion
for modern architecture

364
00:12:54,990 --> 00:12:56,757
and at least one modern architect.

365
00:12:58,060 --> 00:12:59,159
May have to sell this one next.

366
00:12:59,227 --> 00:13:00,494
Really? Wow.

367
00:13:00,562 --> 00:13:01,434
I love how open it is.

368
00:13:01,435 --> 00:13:03,297
- Do you mind if I, uh, poke around?
- Please, yeah.

369
00:13:03,298 --> 00:13:04,531
Beautiful.

370
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,033
Tad, if you don't need my
help anymore with the kids,

371
00:13:06,101 --> 00:13:07,802
- I'll be going.
- Thank you so much, Ellen.

372
00:13:07,869 --> 00:13:08,836
You're welcome.

373
00:13:08,904 --> 00:13:09,470
Okay. We'll see you later. Bye.

374
00:13:09,471 --> 00:13:10,846
I saw this house eight years ago.

375
00:13:10,847 --> 00:13:12,360
There used to be a wall here, right?

376
00:13:12,361 --> 00:13:14,305
That's right. That's right.
That was all covered.

377
00:13:14,306 --> 00:13:17,173
Yeah. I'm a detail guy.
Hard to get much past me.

378
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:18,636
Hello, hello!

379
00:13:18,637 --> 00:13:19,649
- Hi, Aunt Kara!
- Hey! How are you?

380
00:13:19,650 --> 00:13:20,617
Good, Tad, how you doing?

381
00:13:20,685 --> 00:13:22,172
- Bye, daddy.
- Bye, sweetie.

382
00:13:22,173 --> 00:13:24,029
- Bye, dad.
- Have fun.

383
00:13:24,030 --> 00:13:26,122
- Okay. See you later.
- Come on, guys, let's go.

384
00:13:26,415 --> 00:13:28,896
These stairs used to be teak, am I right?

385
00:13:29,906 --> 00:13:31,051
This guy's good.

386
00:13:31,119 --> 00:13:32,986
Yeah, he's good.

387
00:13:33,054 --> 00:13:35,055
- He's sharp.
- I forgot my bag.

388
00:13:35,123 --> 00:13:37,057
You do that every time.

389
00:13:37,125 --> 00:13:38,992
Yep.

390
00:13:39,357 --> 00:13:40,958
I don't miss much.

391
00:13:47,444 --> 00:13:49,195
Oh, I'm sorry. Were you trying to read?

392
00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:50,715
You're the one who tries to read.

393
00:13:50,716 --> 00:13:52,684
Oh, my gosh! I am not that stupid!

394
00:13:52,752 --> 00:13:53,645
Seriously, Haley, you think you

395
00:13:53,646 --> 00:13:55,086
- are the coolest person ever!
- Would you please stop

396
00:13:55,154 --> 00:13:56,011
just judging me and everything that I do?

397
00:13:56,012 --> 00:13:56,555
"Look at me! I'm so cool!"

398
00:13:56,622 --> 00:13:58,222
Enough! Enough!

399
00:13:58,290 --> 00:14:00,691
I am so sick of you two
fighting all the time!

400
00:14:00,759 --> 00:14:01,992
You're a bad big sister,

401
00:14:02,060 --> 00:14:04,127
and you're a bad little sister!

402
00:14:04,195 --> 00:14:06,964
And you're both
bad big sisters to me.

403
00:14:07,348 --> 00:14:08,879
Be normaler.

404
00:14:12,838 --> 00:14:13,938
Wow.

405
00:14:14,005 --> 00:14:17,039
I've never seen him like that.

406
00:14:17,369 --> 00:14:19,470
Well, we do kind of neglect him.

407
00:14:20,130 --> 00:14:21,539
And if you think about it,

408
00:14:21,607 --> 00:14:25,009
he is kind of... our little sister.

409
00:14:25,539 --> 00:14:27,678
Remember how we used
to dress him up?

410
00:14:27,747 --> 00:14:29,313
I miss her.

411
00:14:29,381 --> 00:14:31,481
I hear you, and I don't
like where this is going!

412
00:14:31,951 --> 00:14:32,870
You get the lipstick,

413
00:14:32,871 --> 00:14:34,730
I'll get the bra and tennis balls.

414
00:14:34,731 --> 00:14:37,366
Betty Luke!

415
00:14:37,434 --> 00:14:38,734
I will burn this house down!

416
00:15:00,022 --> 00:15:02,057
Where is the cheese grater?

417
00:15:06,094 --> 00:15:07,794
Where is the cutting board?

418
00:15:08,099 --> 00:15:10,030
Where would you want it to be?

419
00:15:13,468 --> 00:15:16,570
Yes, right here next
to the cheese grater.

420
00:15:16,637 --> 00:15:18,451
I know it's hard to tell
by looking at me,

421
00:15:18,452 --> 00:15:20,845
but I am not a natural homemaker.

422
00:15:20,846 --> 00:15:23,809
So when Cam came
and organized my kitchen,

423
00:15:23,877 --> 00:15:27,213
I felt insecure and lashed out.

424
00:15:27,281 --> 00:15:28,681
In a way, I'm no better

425
00:15:28,748 --> 00:15:30,808
than Manny's crazy friend Danielle.

426
00:15:32,129 --> 00:15:33,987
Please, can we just focus
on the cooking?

427
00:15:38,724 --> 00:15:42,794
Daddy, we forgot to give you this.

428
00:15:42,862 --> 00:15:44,463
It's like our jackets.

429
00:15:46,765 --> 00:15:47,821
I love it.

430
00:15:50,136 --> 00:15:51,424
I guess I've always been
a little sensitive

431
00:15:51,425 --> 00:15:53,239
about Lily not having a mother,

432
00:15:53,431 --> 00:15:55,406
and Gloria's so good at it.

433
00:15:55,474 --> 00:15:57,046
I got jealous.

434
00:15:57,509 --> 00:15:59,573
Maybe I should tell Manny this story.

435
00:15:59,574 --> 00:16:01,974
It might help him with
that train wreck Danielle.

436
00:16:03,048 --> 00:16:04,880
You know what?
Why don't you turn that music back on.

437
00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:06,149
Was kind of nice.

438
00:16:31,367 --> 00:16:32,068
Hey, dad...

439
00:16:32,069 --> 00:16:33,248
No need to talk about it.

440
00:16:33,249 --> 00:16:34,667
I was out of line
coming down there,

441
00:16:34,668 --> 00:16:36,476
won't happen again.
Scotch is at the bar.

442
00:16:36,477 --> 00:16:38,117
No, I've been giving this
a lot of thought.

443
00:16:38,118 --> 00:16:39,185
I guess we're gonna talk about it.

444
00:16:39,252 --> 00:16:40,619
I was rude to you.

445
00:16:41,060 --> 00:16:43,084
I think I was just annoyed
by all the lawyer jokes.

446
00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:45,248
I mean, let's be honest,
you don't exactly

447
00:16:45,249 --> 00:16:47,321
beam with pride over
what I do for a living.

448
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:49,825
Mockery is the sincerest
form of flattery.

449
00:16:49,826 --> 00:16:51,097
Pretty sure that's--
that's not the saying,

450
00:16:51,165 --> 00:16:53,399
but, um, you know,
Manny told me a story

451
00:16:53,466 --> 00:16:54,823
about his friend Danielle.

452
00:16:55,201 --> 00:16:56,835
She sounds like a real
piece of work, by the way.

453
00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,803
But, uh, it made me realize that

454
00:16:59,804 --> 00:17:01,714
I take myself a little too seriously.

455
00:17:01,715 --> 00:17:05,443
Listen, it goes without saying
I've always been proud of you,

456
00:17:05,511 --> 00:17:07,404
and I brag about you all the time.

457
00:17:07,651 --> 00:17:10,723
So if I say, "what do lawyers
use as birth control?"

458
00:17:10,724 --> 00:17:12,641
And the answer is, "their personalities,"

459
00:17:12,642 --> 00:17:15,052
I want you to know I'm
not referring to you.

460
00:17:15,790 --> 00:17:17,592
You don't need any birth control.

461
00:17:21,173 --> 00:17:21,968
Hello?

462
00:17:22,646 --> 00:17:23,881
Yeah, this is Jay Pritchett.

463
00:17:25,129 --> 00:17:26,381
What? When?

464
00:17:26,382 --> 00:17:27,259
What happened?

465
00:17:27,260 --> 00:17:29,022
It's the police. My car got stolen.

466
00:17:29,023 --> 00:17:31,305
Yeah, 2012. Gray.

467
00:17:31,525 --> 00:17:33,537
No, not pewter. More like a light...

468
00:17:33,538 --> 00:17:35,405
Like a--no, not slate.

469
00:17:36,969 --> 00:17:38,727
I don't even know
what "coastal fog" is.

470
00:17:38,728 --> 00:17:40,393
Just put down "gray."

471
00:17:41,109 --> 00:17:41,935
Kilo?

472
00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:43,137
It's not my car.

473
00:17:43,204 --> 00:17:44,737
Yes, she's columbian.

474
00:17:44,805 --> 00:17:46,806
What does that have to do
with--no, I'm coming down there.

475
00:17:46,874 --> 00:17:48,642
Hang on. Grab your keys.

476
00:17:48,709 --> 00:17:49,676
I think I might need a lawyer.

477
00:17:53,347 --> 00:17:54,681
Guess who just got his bell rung?

478
00:18:00,953 --> 00:18:01,678
That's good.

479
00:18:01,679 --> 00:18:02,884
That's good.

480
00:18:03,657 --> 00:18:05,291
Here we go. Have a seat.

481
00:18:05,358 --> 00:18:07,569
I got a bottle of port from 1899.

482
00:18:07,570 --> 00:18:08,953
- Whoa.
- Wow!

483
00:18:08,954 --> 00:18:11,112
Okay, I got it for $18.99...

484
00:18:11,498 --> 00:18:12,731
But it's a good one.

485
00:18:16,968 --> 00:18:18,436
Fun night, right? Great dinner?

486
00:18:18,504 --> 00:18:20,605
Yes. Yes, and...

487
00:18:20,673 --> 00:18:22,873
Tad is... great,

488
00:18:22,941 --> 00:18:25,776
- and I know I was giving
you a hard time... - Hey.

489
00:18:25,844 --> 00:18:27,645
But I feel like I should
say that I am sorry.

490
00:18:27,713 --> 00:18:29,370
Hey, hey, hey, Claire, you
don't need to explain.

491
00:18:29,371 --> 00:18:31,660
Your apology is apology enough.

492
00:18:31,661 --> 00:18:34,159
Oh, I forgot the best part
of the Costa Rica story.

493
00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:37,946
So we get home, and they've
taken over the living room,

494
00:18:37,947 --> 00:18:39,230
they've taken over the kitchen,

495
00:18:39,297 --> 00:18:41,298
I mean, they're in the
food, they're on the bed.

496
00:18:41,366 --> 00:18:45,541
And finally, after two years of
complaining to Diego about this,

497
00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:47,492
he finally stops and says,

498
00:18:47,493 --> 00:18:52,033
"okay, now I see it.
You do have a monkey problem."

499
00:18:57,236 --> 00:18:58,465
A monkey problem!

500
00:18:58,515 --> 00:19:00,817
Yeah, I heard him the first time.

501
00:19:00,885 --> 00:19:02,991
You can kiss my wife,
you can take her to bed,

502
00:19:02,992 --> 00:19:05,119
but you cannot make her laugh.

503
00:19:06,803 --> 00:19:07,954
I wanna go back.

504
00:19:08,858 --> 00:19:10,392
You can kiss my wife,

505
00:19:10,459 --> 00:19:13,599
but only I can take her to
bed and make her laugh.

506
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:14,845
I wanna go back.

507
00:19:16,199 --> 00:19:20,118
Only I can take my wife to bed,

508
00:19:20,119 --> 00:19:21,224
comma,

509
00:19:21,225 --> 00:19:23,013
and make her laugh.

510
00:19:24,406 --> 00:19:27,108
I mean, they're in everything.

511
00:19:27,176 --> 00:19:28,662
The only thing they didn't touch--

512
00:19:28,663 --> 00:19:29,817
the bananas.

513
00:19:32,518 --> 00:19:34,127
The monkeys love bananas!

514
00:19:34,128 --> 00:19:35,995
You would think they
would love the bananas.

515
00:19:36,063 --> 00:19:37,186
Yeah, we should go.

516
00:19:37,187 --> 00:19:39,397
- Come on. The bananas--
- Yeah, we need to go.

517
00:19:39,398 --> 00:19:40,374
- We gotta get going.
- Oh, no, no, no.

518
00:19:40,375 --> 00:19:41,847
- Yeah, yeah, we're late.
- But he just opened the--

519
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:43,856
- we're late for getting home.
- Thanks for everything. Just--

520
00:19:43,857 --> 00:19:45,539
- Oh. Okay.
- Okay.

521
00:19:45,805 --> 00:19:47,106
What is wrong with you?

522
00:19:47,174 --> 00:19:48,875
You laughed like
it was "who's on first?"

523
00:19:48,942 --> 00:19:49,566
What?

524
00:19:49,567 --> 00:19:51,542
He's on second.
Don't try to cheer me up.

525
00:19:51,610 --> 00:19:53,211
I know what's going on here.
You're jealous.

526
00:19:54,118 --> 00:19:55,087
Of him?

527
00:19:55,411 --> 00:19:56,984
He's not even funny!

528
00:19:57,183 --> 00:19:59,050
What's he got?
Like, a soft ten minutes?

529
00:19:59,118 --> 00:20:00,451
And he goes to the Costa Rican well

530
00:20:00,519 --> 00:20:02,120
a little too much for my taste.

531
00:20:02,188 --> 00:20:03,989
Oh, God.

532
00:20:04,056 --> 00:20:05,403
Really? This is still about the monkey?

533
00:20:05,404 --> 00:20:06,657
No! No, no, no!

534
00:20:06,725 --> 00:20:09,626
It's you. You are making
me so happy right now.

535
00:20:09,694 --> 00:20:12,729
You stormed out of there, and
you're acting like an idiot.

536
00:20:12,797 --> 00:20:15,866
You like this?
Because I am really uncomfortable.

537
00:20:15,934 --> 00:20:19,036
Honey, I love it.
Makes me feel special.

538
00:20:19,104 --> 00:20:21,372
Sometimes,
I really don't understand you.

539
00:20:21,439 --> 00:20:23,148
I know. It's stupid,

540
00:20:23,149 --> 00:20:26,062
but it's nice to know that
sometimes you'll fight for me,

541
00:20:26,063 --> 00:20:28,851
and all I have to do is laugh
at some other guy's story.

542
00:20:29,313 --> 00:20:33,016
But no one makes me
laugh like you do.

543
00:20:33,083 --> 00:20:35,318
- As long as it's always genuine.
- Mm-hmm.

544
00:20:35,386 --> 00:20:36,519
You can fake anything
you want with me,

545
00:20:36,586 --> 00:20:37,921
but not your laugh.

546
00:20:39,032 --> 00:20:40,378
- I'd like to go back.
- Yeah.

547
00:20:44,189 --> 00:20:46,008
Stop it! Leave me alone!

548
00:20:46,174 --> 00:20:48,065
- Hold still!
- Stop moving!

549
00:20:48,066 --> 00:20:49,574
I hate you! Get off of me!

550
00:20:49,575 --> 00:20:51,539
What... is going on?

551
00:20:52,935 --> 00:20:54,669
You guys are in a lot of trouble.

552
00:20:54,737 --> 00:20:56,637
Haley, I told you
to clean this mess up,

553
00:20:56,706 --> 00:20:58,306
and, Alex, your books are everywhere.

554
00:20:58,373 --> 00:21:01,232
Betty Luke, sit down while
your dad gets the camera.

555
00:21:01,233 --> 00:21:02,085
Got it.

556
00:21:02,811 --> 00:21:04,162
Last time, you made a funny face

557
00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:06,141
and we didn't really get
a good shot,

558
00:21:06,142 --> 00:21:07,834
so let's work on our smile.

559
00:21:07,835 --> 00:21:10,556
Okay. Good to see you,
Betty Luke.

560
00:21:12,098 --> 00:21:16,060
Sync by YYeTs, corrected by susanaLC
www.addic7ed.com

9999
00:00:00,700 --> 00:00:02,200
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